Robert De Niro’s participation in Manuale d’Amore 3, the third of the Manuale d’Amore (hopefully just a ) trilogy can only be explained in one of two ways: He either a ) really wanted to have a sex scene with Monica Bellucci, or b ) was too lazy to have the script translated before he signed the contract and didn’t understand how bad it was.
Honestly, it just blows.
I missed seeing it in Rome by one week and then had to wait until it came out on DVD – my order from ibs.it came yesterday (have I mentioned how much I love them?) and I put Manuale d’Amore 3 at the top of the pile. I had been warned. Many readers of this blog wrote to me to tell me how ungood it was, and yet I was determined to see for myself.
In case you’ve been living under a rock (or in the US, either one), the popular Manuale d’Amore – Love Manual movies are made in three parts, with three couples in three different stages of relationships. The first of the three movies was cute and romantic, specially the segment with Silvio Muccino and Jasmine Trinca.
The second one was memorable for only one thing; the wheelchair sex scene with Monica Bellucci and Riccardo Scamarcio -pretty hot.
I was eagerly anticipating the third because of De Niro – he plays a retired American college professor who has moved to Rome after a divorce and a heart transplant. And he speaks Italian, not badly either. I don’t know if he’s doing it phonetically or whether he knows exactly what he’s saying, but he does alright. But the movie blows – oh, I already said that? Sorry – it just does.
An Italian movie like this with an American movie star should have been one to make it to the US, but I doubt it ever will. I doubt that De Niro would ever want it to. His segment is not the worst – the one with Scamarcio having a pre-wedding fling with Laura Chiatti is the worst – by far. It’s not cute. It’s not funny. It’s not romantic. I don’t know what they were thinking with that one.
The best is the part with Carlo Verdone and Donatella Finocchiaro, who plays a crazy stalker who is after Verdone, a tv news anchorman. I love Carlo Verdone and he’s good in whatever he does, even with this script blowing as it does.
De Niro’s part is just embarrassing and Monica Bellucci has definitely had too much Botox. She plays a stripper who owes money to some bad guys, has a fight with her father, and hides out in De Niro’s apartment for a few days. I am old and have nothing against love stories with old people but this one just seemed creepy. De Niro fake jogging to impress Bellucci, his strip tease for her – No. Just no.
Here’s the trailer of Manuale d’Amore 3 – coming never to a theater near you.
I Love Italian Everything 