Who’s Afraid of Italian Cinema?

I know what you’re thinking.

You think Italian movies, and all foreign films are for hipsters with indie-music soundtracks to their lives, posers, and pseudo-intellectuals who wear black berets. It’s time to reclaim Italian movies.

It’s like we can read your mind. You think:

1) The people who talk about Italian movies are pretentious know-it-alls, and maybe so, but don’t let that keep you from something great. Two can play at this game; your sardonic looks of disapproval are just as intimidating as the movie snob’s is.

2) You’re afraid of subtitles – Subtitles are a real concern and a whole other debate. Italians dub everything, which is blasphemy for intellectuals and pseudo-intellectuals alike, but at least Italians get to watch all the movies without having to work so hard. I wish I could watch French films while I cook, but I can’t; I have to sit there with my eyes glued to the subtitles.

Just remember, subtitles are not as big of a deal as we make them out to be. They are a pain at first, but eventually, if the movie is entertaining, you’ll forget they are there. I promise. My advice: Watch Italian films with a nice big glass of wine, relax, and you’ll forget in no time you are reading the movie.

There's dumb, and then there's Biggio and Mandelli — There’s dumb, and then there’s Biggio and Mandelli

3) You think Italian films are boring. Well hey, some of them are. Some of them are dumber than ‘Dumb and Dumber 2’. Some of them are so bad they’re good, and some are so bad they’re good, and then right back to just plain bad again.

And you’re right. Italians very rarely do special effects, because Italian filmmakers don’t have the big budgets that Hollywood does. And true, a lot of the Italian movies you see in the US are quiet, thought-provoking, talky, and slow, because that’s the kind of foreign films that the pseudo-intellectuals like to import. First of all, some of those slow, talky ones are really good (we’ll try to make sure you hear about them), and second of all, they aren’t all like that. Some of them are rollicking laugh riots. Some are action packed.

What part of "great looking actors" don't you identify with? — What part of “great looking actors” don’t you identify with?

4) You think you won’t identify with the story and characters. It’s foreign. They’re foreigners. You think I’m going to tell you that they are “just like us”? No way! Believe me, there are plenty of things that Italians do that we don’t and vice versa, but that’s what makes it interesting. But we do have a lot in common, like cheating husbands, wayward kids, mean girls, bonehead bosses, money worries, and infuriating family members. The ways they are different are, for the most part, adorable.

5) You don’t know what to watch or where to find them. Pleeeeeaaaasse. You really don’t know how to find out about Italian movies? Stop embarrassing yourself; all you have to do is check out I LOVE ITALIAN MOVIES. We’ve got your back.